May 16, 2018
The whole world of suburban-dwelling middle-class house mums is waiting on the edge of its seat to see what Meghan Markle is going to wear to the royal wedding.
With Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding a few days away, speculation about the bride’s dress – set to become one of the most iconic royal wedding outfits of all time – has reached peak fever pitch. And no wonder. On Saturday, when Meghan walks down the aisle at St George’s, Windsor, the fortunes of whichever fashion house she chooses will change forever.
If you’ve been muttering ‘nice enough girl,’ ‘what’s the fuss?’, you’re not alone. Many are finding the kerfuffle excessive. Others, however, would beg to differ. In six short months, Meghan has become one of fashion’s most significant influencers – bigger, according to global fashion search platform Lyst, than the Kardashians or the Hadid sisters, Gigi and Bella.
When Markle attended the Invictus Games with Harry last September, for example, wearing a pair of tortoiseshell ‘Percy’ sunglasses, sales at the British brand Finlay & Co shot up by more than 1,000 per cent. What Meghan wears counts. No wonder top British fashion brands have been staring at their phones for the past six months.
Every royal wedding attracts attention; this one is something else. Meghan Markle is a 36-year-old California native, a denizen of Hollywood, a former actress in a popular TV drama. She is also whip smart, big-hearted and as ferociously contemporary as supermodel Adwoa Aboah on the cover of Vogue. In choosing Markle to be his wife, Harry has, arguably, pulled the monarchy into the 21st Century.
Can’t go a single article about Markle without mentioning this line, can we?
Ever since the engagement was announced in November, the couple have forged new paths, inviting youth charity workers and community leaders to the wedding instead of political leaders; asking for donations to small charities instead of gifts. In this context, the frenzy over ‘the dress’ – the concrete expression of everything Meghan and Harry stand for – makes more sense.
Seriously though, their whole marriage is one big virtue-signal.
Pundits have been scouring Meghan’s personal style for clues. Honed in LA and on the Canadian sets of TV legal drama Suits, Meghan offers a masterclass in blending Californian breeziness with showbiz glam. The result is a look many women aspire to: polished but not prim, sophisticated but not laboured, beautiful but not annoyingly so. Strength cloaked in style.
California breeziness eh? They must mean looking like a bum.
Tbh this whole marriage is a farce on too many levels to even count. But if the ginger prince wanted to go slumming, he should have just tapped this mulatto whore, gotten it out of his system and then married a decent woman to carry on his line.
I’m not an oil driller myself, and I don’t think I could ever be with a woman with even a drop of nigger blood – trust me, I’ve tested this – because of the smell, the visceral repulsion I feel and the risk of catching an STD. Get a test, by the way, Harry.
But I’m not a Puritan by any means. Some men like the exotic and different. Hell, even Jefferson had a dusky whore he enjoyed from time to time.
So whatever, I’m not here to judge what woman a White man sticks his dick into.
It’s really none of my business.
It is, however, my business when the Royal Family goes out of their way to convince White people that race-mixing is okay and the future of their country and race.
That’s where I draw the line.
And fuck, Harry, dude, why not just date a Portuguese girl like Shakespeare did if you’re so keen on having a “Dark Lady.” You’ll get the black hair, the smooth olive skin and the feisty southern temperament – why did it have to be a negress?
And the idea of having cheddar-babies is disgusting as well.
Thank God there’s at least one healthy royal family left.