“Tuck Buddies” Help Five-Year-Olds Hide Their Dicks

Roy Batty
Daily Stormer
January 5, 2019

Sometimes I find myself feeling especially proud and smug for finding the most fucked up shit to report on.

Like, it’s as if I’ve beaten the competition out to secure the “found the most fucked up story of the week” prize.

Between you and me, there is no such prize among the Stormer Staff (SS). 

But there should be.

Everyone’s just too afraid of the competition i.e., me.

That’s why they don’t wanna play.

Cuz I’d decorate my entire wall with “FUSOW” trophies tbh.

I’d even lie to the gf and the side biddies about what the prize was for.

Probably tell them that it was a prize given to me by my ex’s for having a big dick – heh, shit was cash.

But seriously, by this point, I hope I’ve injected enough levity into the situation to prepare you for what’s coming.

This shit’s fucked up, Jack. 

Cauldron Pool:

There’s a new line of underwear on the market, and it’s helping ‘transgender’ boys as young as five hide their penises.

“Tuck Buddies” were created to be a “comfortable underwear option for transgender kids.” The product is designed with an extra layer at the front to “provide a bit of padding and coverage for young trans kids.”

“My five and a half year old trans daughter has pretty much always presented as a female,” one customer said. “As an infant everyone assumed she was a baby girl.”

“Around five, after transitioning, she really started noticing her penis more, and complaining about it ‘bothering her in all kinds of different ways.” 


It’s real.

Not gonna lie, I’m so jaded at this point that I’m literally kicking myself for not getting into the growing tranny/transitioning industry.

It’d be a better investment than fucking Bitcoin, that’s for sure.

So much for being able to afford a cosplaying ahegao Instagram thot in 2019 fml.

Gotta leverage some of that red pill knowledge to get rich, otherwise it’s useless, know whatimsayin’?

Gotta make some money off these dickless toddlers, LMAO ;_;

But nah.

The humor helps to take some of the edge off – but sometimes it’s just not enough fam.

I was thinking of getting a hobby.

Maybe LEGOs. 

I feel like that would be right up my alley.