December 27, 2017
I used to think Santa was just a story we told children to make them behave. A clever way to get them to bed at night, so Mom and Dad could try and make another sibling. Though I lack a tree and a chimney, and though the People’s Democratic Republic of Virginia thinks I’ve been very naughty this year, I woke up to a truly marvelous gift that could only have been delivered through the magic of Christmas.
Apparently some communists thought it would be a good idea to bother a Patriot Prayer group by shouting communist slogans at their gathering through a bullhorn. Then, up on a bridge above the gathering, they threatened one of the Christians with a weapon before retreating across the street with reckless abandon. In a sleigh that strongly resembles a pickup truck, Santa strikes the communist Grinch and sends it flying into the air.
Here comes the really surprising part, and I hope you’re sitting down because this is very shocking news. The communist then went on Facebook, and lied about it.
I’ll give you a moment to let that sink in. I know, you must be devastated.
The Facebook post (now deleted) read as follows;
Patriot Prayer pushed me into the street and I had no choice but to run, was smacked by a truck retreating from mace and a lot of huge Proud Boys, just minutes after we expressed our leftist views, we were being pursued by the very people that just claimed to be about peace. They were smiling and cheering it and you’ll see when the footage surfaces that they essentially force me out onto the streets. I have been demasked by Portland police under threat of arrest. Here is a photo of the injuries.
A photo appears to show what is either the flattest female ass this side of China’s Great Wall, or a man wearing panties with a nasty bruise on his butt.
When caught in the lie by contradictory video evidence, the Refuse Fascism PDX page deleted the post, and in a surprising display of self awareness posted a correction stating;
A post was made today blaming Patriot Prayer for the injury that an activist took at today’s Christian March.
After reviewing the video evidence, we do not find Patriot Prayer / Joey Gibson accountable for the accident. It was very unfortunate that it occurred either way. We wish our comrade a swift recovery.
If this worthless sack of shit is going to recover from anything, let’s hope it is from the debilitating mental illness that caused him to bother those nice folks in the first place.
That’s not the only holiday miracle I woke up to. Eric Garner’s daughter may get to see her father for Christmas. She had a heart attack, and is now in a coma. Her sister says it doesn’t look good.
You might remember the story of Eric Garner, he was the obese repeat offender negro who resisted arrest when he was caught illegally selling cigarettes in Staten Island. Shockingly enough, this didn’t work out well for him. He died after telling the officer he was struggling with “I can’t breathe” and sparking massive demonstrations by low IQ savages who think it is racist to enforce laws.
Erica Garner had the opportunity to save black lives by using her father’s death as a teachable moment. The lesson of which being, if you break the law and resist arrest, bad things will happen to you, whatever your race. Instead she decided to create infinitely more suffering by stirring the pot and encouraging black lives matter rioters to continue wreaking havoc across America. Her hopeful demise is a special gift that one can only hope will be visited upon many more such agitators in the next current year.
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