#TireGate: Alt-Lite Jew Laura Loomer’s Tire was SLASHED – Everyone Agrees This Isn’t a Hoax!

Lauritz Von Guildhausen
Daily Stormer
August 3, 2017

On August 2, life changed for many on the alt-lite. A highly important, some would even say critical, part of their organization was stabbed repeatedly until fully incapable of performing its crucial function as a revolutionary part of alt-light logistics.

I am of course talking about a car tire.

The heinous crime was allegedly spotted by a AAA towtruck driver when the least appealing donkey in Ezra Levant’s stable of thots, Laura Loomer, called them to have her Heebwagen car taken to the shop. Upon seeing the tire, the car mechanic also allegedly suspected foul play. Then a cop agreed.

Beside herself with shock and grief, Loomer live-tweeted the entire tragic saga.

Twitter users, besides finding this absolutely hilarious, noted that tire rot or an impact blow out were much likelier explanations for the cracks in the tire, which in turn prompted Loomer to double and triple down, causing further mirth.

Not convinced by the actual car-mechanics, tire specialists (Michelin), and tire enthusiasts informing her about the necessity of good tire maintenance on Twitter, she went to the police and claims she will produce evidence of the crime with sources. Additionally, tires being put out of commission is pretty big news, so naturally Gateway Pundit wrote an article about it.

So assuming Loomers claims of tire-stabbing is true, who could have committed such a heinous act?

While Gerbils certainly have legitimate grievance against Loomer, it is common knowledge that wheels are round – circular, in fact. Do you know who has a penchant for circles?

Jews.

In fact, the word kike is derived from the word “kykel,” which is Yiddish for circle, and so therefore it is almost certain that the stabbing was anti-Semitic in origin.

Beware the Vulcanized Jew

Now that the White supremacist motivation for the stabbing has been revealed, who could have callously and repeatedly slid their long knife of hatred into the rubber rabbi? A certain white clad candidate comes to mind:

Turns out ‘Tire Fire’ is just another euphemism for the holocaust.

The jig is up Michelin man. We know you tried to insert yourself into the murder case, confess you tire-stabbing White Supremacist asshole.

The episode has created mass hilarity over twitter, and even spawned the hashtag #TireGate.

Additionally, as Loomer referred to earlier, a GoFundMe has been opened to acquire some new kykels for her (((Automobile))). She claims to have no involvement in the fund, but whether that’s true remains to be seen.

#NeverForget

UPDATE:

Anglin here.

The Gateway Pundit added this note at the bottom of their article (rather than the top, as would have been appropriate):

Now, the whole article appears to have just been deleted outright.

No “sorry we helped a Jew lie to you.”

Get this: they didn’t even delete the article in a normal way, which would lead to a “whoops, that page doesn’t exist” 404 that on The Gateway Pundit looks like this:

You just get redirected in a way that will never complete.

This is a really lowdown trick on the part of TGP. Forcing a browser error when you try to access the page makes it seem like maybe their site is having an outage, or there’s something wrong on your end, or whatever – it obfuscates the fact that they deleted the article because it was a lie, while still removing responsibility on their part by making it inaccessible.

Really a tricky tick.

Daily Caller now has a story up calling TGP fake news over this.

It’s become a very funny story.

I think Ezra Levant is probably going to have to fire her over this. It blew up on Twitter so big that she is forever going to be associated with lying about a slashed tire. Like, this will follow her literally for the rest of her life. Her gravestone will read “people wouldn’t stand with her tire.”

Ha.

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