October 11, 2018
Evil racists on unmentionable corners of the interweb tubes have been suggesting for years that “porch-monkeys” will always steal bikes no matter what, because it’s “just their nigger genes” and, furthermore, “HIV.”
But finally, we are seeing the results of progress and education in the country’s most vulnerable inner-city bike-thief Americans.
The hunt is on for five teens who have stolen electric bicycles from food deliverymen in New York City. The robbery victims were also assaulted, an in at least two cases, robbed of their money.
The NYPD said the incidents occurred between 7 p.m. and midnight, on Sept. 14 to Sept. 30 in northern Manhattan.
The suspects punched or kicked their victims in the face or body before taking off with the E-bike.
The man assaulted in front of 70 East 115th Street was also robbed of $40. The victim in the Sept. 28 incident at the corner of Third Ave. and East 88th St. was robbed of his wallet. Surveillance camera video of the assault was released by police.
Even the most underprivileged and skin-hated of us are leading by example, and showing how we can make simple changes to our every day routine to reduce our carbon footprint, and save Mother Planet from Big Oil.
Instead of stealing a bike, why not just steal an E-bike?
Beneath his silvery sheen, Captain Planet was a coal-black silverback.
Truly, some things do not change. While hundreds of years ago, negro slaves were laboring to pick cotton and invent peanut-butter so that their racist White “owners” could drink lemonade on hot porches, now, they are paying for our sins with their conscientious, greener choices in bike theft, to offset the carbon footprints of our tremendous Hummers and boomer lawns.
I bet they spent the $40 they stole on soy-burgers, so that we could continue to burn the blood of the Earth in our Hummers, while eating our crueltyburgers, made out of pure hatred for cows.
Truly, niggers are the most moral of all peoples.