Oslo Plagued by Spontaneous Car Combustion

Lauritz Von Guildhausen
Daily Stormer
June 22, 2017

Nine cars have mysteriously caught fire throughout Oslo for no apparent reason over the last twenty-four hours, leaving police puzzled.

Certified genius and division chief of police, Rune Skjold, had the following to say about the phenomena:

“…We don’t yet know if they (the cars) were deliberately ignited, but we cannot exclude this as a possibility.”

Given that the mysterious vehicular conflagrations took place in three distinct locations, The Stormer would like to make a completely reckless, unfounded and frankly dangerous prediction: Sand people did this.

We know, parked cars randomly burst into flames in the middle of the night all the time. The only real counterargument we can make to the theory that these blazes caused themselves is the fact that sand people in Sweden do this all the fucking time.

Just force majeure goy. Incidentally, your insurance doesn’t cover that.

It is clear that police are applying a new variant of Coulter’s Law where not only will they take every measure to delay revealing the perpetrator of a crime if he is non-white, they will just straight up pretend that no crime occurred.

Say what you will about white nationalism, but at least you won’t have to worry about your car being torched when we win.