October 6, 2019
Secretary of State Mike Pompeo has publicly said he is “deeply concerned” about the rising death toll in Iraq; however, in private, he’s been found to be talking about installing a “double democracy” in the fledgling Middle East Democracy.
Iraq is currently in chaos, probably at the beginning of a new civil war. Yesterday, according to various Jewish media, the death count from the last five days of “peaceful protests” reached over 90.
Thus it is no surprise that neoconservative vultures like Mike Pompeo are circling, looking to send in an army of foreign jihadi terrorists that the media will portray as “democracy freedom fighters” and then invade the country to do “regime change” in the name of freedom and democracy.
However, the problem is that the Jewish-controlled American military already invaded Iraq in 2003 for the stated purpose of blessing them with freedom and democracy.
So what’s the solution for a virile young go-getter like Pompeo, looking to make a name for himself in the history books of wars for Israel?
Well, according to new leaked tapes from a conversation he had with an aide simply referred to as “Greg,” his plan is to bring Iraq “Double Secret Democracy.”
Secretary Pompeo: Greg, what is the most chaotic country in the Middle East?
Greg: Well that would be hard to say, sir. They’re each outstanding in their own way.
Secretary Pompeo: Cut the horseshit, son. I’ve got their daily death tolls right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the peaceful protest? Who was forced to shut down their entire internet? Under George Bush, they did 911. Under Barack Obama, they created ISIS.
Greg: You’re talking about Iraq, sir.
Secretary Pompeo: Of course I’m talking about Iraq, you TWERP!!! This administration is going to be different. In this administration, we are going to grab the bull by the balls and kick that regime off campus.
Greg: What do you intend to do sir? Iraq’s already a democracy.
Secretary Pompeo: They are?
Greg: Yes, sir.
Secretary Pompeo: Oh. Then as of this moment, they’re on double secret democracy!
Greg: Double secret democracy, sir?
Secretary Pompeo: There is a little-known codicil in the UN Charter which gives the Security Council unlimited power to preserve order in time of Middle Eastern emergency. Find me a way to revoke Iraq’s Constitution. Put the New York Times on it. They’re sneaky little shits, just like you, right? The time has come for someone to put their foot down. And that foot is me.
That is certainly strange language and indeed a strange plan.
However, I would be lying if I said I was surprised.
Invading a Middle Eastern country to bring them “double secret democracy” is no more or less logical or reasonable than invading a country to bring them democracy, and I don’t really see a reason that this same war couldn’t be sold to baby boomers for a third time in as many decades.