April 2, 2018
Monkeys are very interesting animals.
They sort of have human intelligence. Like, the intelligence of a dumb human. But a human. They are much more aware of what is going on with people than dogs, for example.
But unlike dogs, they do not wish to serve man.
They just want to fuck with us.
Police in India are on the lookout for a monkey that allegedly snatched a baby, whose body was later found inside a well in the eastern state of Orissa.
The baby’s mother saw the incident take place but was unable to rescue her son.
A relative found the baby’s body in a well behind the house on Sunday, a day after he was snatched by the monkey who had entered the child’s home.
Officers say this is “a very rare case”, although monkeys are often caught damaging property in the area.
“We hope to catch the monkey within a week,” local officer PC Pradhan told the BBC.
“While monkeys attacking humans or entering houses in search of food are fairly common, this is the first case in which one has run away with a baby,” he added.
Police are working with a local tribe, who specialise in catching monkeys.
Forest officials told the BBC that the monkey entered the family’s home early on Saturday morning and snatched the baby from inside the house.
A doctor who examined the body said there were no serious injury marks. “It appears to be a case of asphyxia due to drowning,” she said.
So they monkey kidnapped the baby and threw it down a well.
Why would it do that, other than just to be nasty for teh lulz?
It’s a funny thing to think about.
One time in Asia I went to a place with a bunch of monkeys and parked my motorcycle and the girl I was with told me I had to pay this guy there to watch the bike because the monkeys would unscrew the mirrors and throw them at a wall.
It’s a regular thing, throughout Asia, this issue of monkeys causing problems by fucking with people on purpose. Stealing food is something obvious, all animals do that, but as far as I’m aware monkeys are the only animal that will fuck with you just for teh lulz.
I never could quite understand why Hanuman was such a good friend to Rama.
I mean, I get that he was overcoming his nature, I guess – but no way in shit I would ever trust a monkey.