May 13, 2018
Shut up and take my money!
We all know the gaming industry sucks now. It’s all derivative open world games and multiplayer shooters, and all of it is POZ’d to high heaven. What if I don’t want to climb your radar towers or improve my K/D ratio, huh?
What if I’m after something… more refined? More… robust?
Luckily, the good folks at “The Play Way” have got me covered, and endeavored to let me play out my secret fantasy of living as a hobo.
Finally, my life will be complete. Hnnnnnggg!
I’m not sure how many people still remember the brilliant game Postal released two decades ago, but I sure do! And my memory wheels started turning when I read about the upcoming Bum Simulator, which seems to be exactly the Postal this generation needs.
Just like the name suggests, Bum Simulator puts you in the shoes of a guy who lost everything and ended up on the streets. It’s your job to decide what his future will be.
Will you adapt to the street life and survive the harsh reality? Will you rain down the fire of revenge over the people responsible for your downfall or you’ll try getting a job a starting over? The possibilities seem to be endless in Bum Simulator, which is an open world game where you do whatever you want.
What kind of cucked hobo wants to get a job? Based hobos don’t want to BE “the man,” they SPIT on “the man.”
Or in this game, flip him off, whatever.
Finally, a simulator that allows us all to taste a life of pure freedom, unconstrained by things like “social status,” “money” or “morality.”
It doesn’t get any better than the hobo life, I can tell you that.
The game seems to be extremely offensive, which is a brave (but much needed thing) in today’s easily offendable society where everybody tries to be politically correct and say the right words in order to never upset any of millions of social groups in the world.
But what does Bum Simulator do instead? It allows you to drink a bottle of beer, then smash it in the face of a homeless person who’s been grabbing their crotch and making fun of you. Then steal their cigarette, show them the finger and move on.
Yeah… This is the life.
Yeah, this should be a giant middle finger to political correctness. The game is published by a Polish company, who are known not to give a single fuck about SJW whining. In fact, Poles and other Eastern Europeans are on track to singlehandedly save the entire gaming industry with their cool, POZ-free games.
I, for one, am already saving my pennies for the release of Bum Simulator later this year, and if you have a soul, I suggest you do the same.