The Right Stuff
November 10, 2016
We’ve bled for Bernie Sanders as he has bled for us.
After the devastating loss at the DNC, after the election of Donald Trump to the highest office in the land–it’s STILL not time to give up on Bernie.
We’ve done the math. Bernie still has a path to the White House–several, in fact. I have ranked the possibilities here, from most likely to least likely:
1. Donald Trump refuses to accept the win and hands over power to Bernie Sanders.
CHANCE OF OCCURING: 90%
This, according to my calculations, has the highest chance of occuring. You may scratch your head at this, but if we look at what Trump has said previously, it would make a lot of sense.
Just look at this tweet:
Leaked e-mails of DNC show plans to destroy Bernie Sanders. Mock his heritage and much more. On-line from Wikileakes, really vicious. RIGGED
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 23, 2016
Did you catch that?
Read it again.
Yeah. He said it.
Why would he say this if he wasn’t planning to give Bernie the White House?
2. The Electoral College listens to the public’s will and elects Bernie Sanders.
CHANCE OF OCCURRING: 75%
This, too, has a really high chance of happening. There is already one Washington State elector who is refusing to give his vote to Hillary Clinton. If enough other electors join suit, we could be celebrating the inauguration of Bernie Sanders in January of next year.
Imagine the free college.
Imagine the birds.
3. Everyone in the government dies except for Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders.
CHANCE OF OCCURRING: 50%
Everyone dies, and that includes everyone in the Government. But it might not include Bernie Sanders.
4. An armed socialist insurrection.
CHANCE OF OCCURRING: 20%
This one is a bit further down the line because frankly guns are scary. Terrifying. Just thinking about it–just typing this sentence is making me shake. It’s making my stomach turn. I hate guns and I hate everyone who use guns except for marginalized PoC who don’t see any other way through their lives except through violence. But, because those dumb fucking apes turned out for Clinton AND IGNORED MY FUCKING PHONEBANKING, I estimate this only has around a 20% chance of occuring–still no reason to give up hope!
5. A flock of birds.
CHANCE OF OCCURING: 10%
As we know, birds like Bernie a lot because he’s against racism and transphobia. This can win him the Presidency. Think about it.
Wow! Look at that! Now THOSE are odds we progressives can bank on.
Just remember: we can’t give up on Bernie. We have to fight for him. He fought for us.