Lauritz Von Guildhausen
July 4, 2017
Thanks to the Glorious American Shale Oil (AKA Freedom Fuel), Arab states are suffering through major economic recession.
As the world enjoys its third year of super cheap gas, wahhabist despots feel the drawbacks of ruling over a gang of illiterate goat herders whose sole economical merit is sitting on several billion gallons of easily extracted oil. This week, markets lowered expectations on the oil price from $60 to $55 by the end of 2017, adding to the already severe concerns about the continued solvency of the sand nations.
Three years of extreme financial losses that far outweigh the European debt crisis at its very worst, has seen hundreds of billions of dollars go up in smoke, and has triggered a rush to try and diversify the afflicted economies, who have hitherto operated with an oil income equal to 80% of total revenue, often combined with no income tax whatsoever.
When asked for comment, president Donald Trump allegedly said:
I think there is a resurgence of oil production because at this point in time Arabia has not yet learned how to be multi economical. And I think we are going to be part of the throes of that transformation, which must take place. The Arabian states are not going to be the monolithic oil societies they once were in the last century. America is going to be at the center of that. It’s a huge transformation for Arabia to make. They are now going into a multi-economical mode, and Americans will be resented because of our leading role.
All jokes aside, If the current oil prices are maintained, there is a legitimate chance that several of these states will be unable to make the economic transition in time and may actually collapse. There’s a non-zero possibility that we may get to live in a post-Arab world, or at the very least one which cannot afford to keep funding terrorism, or diabetes medication.
Happy Independence Day Burgers!!!